I live on a small, maybe 55 sqm of space that is easily filled up by two little voices. It’s not wide enough for two kids to run around, but big enough to nurture their imagination. It’s enough to give me space when I want to get lost in my thoughts and accomodate the vibrations resonating from my guitar. I could’ve simply said “I play guitar or music“. But I’m not sure everyone will agree. When I was young, I believed that I was an important piece of the universe and that the universe will make sense with me in it. Then I turned 18and worked for the local mall, SM Cinema, and ate on plastic wrapper for plates in a makeshift pantry. A paintless bodega with odd wooden pieces linked by spare nails turned into tables and chairs and lent generously, but for a limited time, to its workers because SM has yet to turn the space into something profitable. It was humbling and it only stoked the fire some more. “I must really be going to do something special!” with this dramatic story arc and extraordinary history.
Now, as I am twice that age, I realize that the belief about how the world seems to revolve around me was not a product of a childish delusion or overactive imagination but it was something external. Something that my parents made me feel. Something that my lolas, my family shared to me. Kindness. Because the two kids that I have now is the center of me and my wife’s universe. Hopefully the love fuels them enough to do something special with their lives not through some conscious or socially dictated meter for success but by just finding meaning in living. Hopefully I expose them to enough kindness so they would find hope in times when kindness is scarce.
I take with me this small piece of happiness wherever I go. I think about the future. I doubt… I fear… Sometimes I wish I have a little bit more… But the moments do not overrun the whole to the point of ruining it. There are still a lot more to be thankful about. I am glad that I have time to play with them and engage them to simple sources of happiness. There are still a lot more to learn and be taught. I hope I never run out of answers or patience. In moments when we realize there’s a whole lot of good things going on and it only requires not to be taken for granted, we are happy.
danDAman 