A throwback… A throbbing pain… In cubits, the window Is mocking my escape
Category: An Opinion On Anything
For So Long Now
Dear Thierri & Vedder,
A friend of mine re-posted this poem from more than 15 years ago. Published through Bulacan State University’s collegiate paper “Pacesetter”. I used to get a kick out of how our artists interpret the verbiage that is my poetry. The illustration gives it perspective and texture that was invisible when it was in vacuo of my head.
Allan Flores, the artist and
The Trip to Truth
If you do find it
Together
As a pair
Even if separated by
Distance
Divided as opposing weather
If you find love
May you find truth
Because love should never ask you to lie
And truth shouldn’t leave you lonely
The Homeshored Lotophagi
This may seem familiar… But you are not going to understand… No matter how willing… Ajar be the mind or cupped be the hand…
Goner
You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the idea of future to escape the present.
— John Green
He was staring at a blank screen, mirroring his mind. Everything that’s let out of our body requires excruciating pain like blood, babies, and words. He kept on talking about this one big time he’ll hit it big. Then deflate it with uncontrollable self-loathing. Then escape to a song that sings about the piled up yesterdays and the gaslit need to escape. He is running himself to a deadline to feel alive… or at least, feast on its overcasting fear.
Infinity Portal
Today, my daughter Zephyr turned 7. She has just invented an “infinity portal” (pictured below). Maybe she got inspired by History channel’s feature on Albert Einstein. Mix that with Phineas and Ferb.
She was explaining to me about what the portal does and how it works. By the end of her “presentation”, she kind of surrendered to the basic truth that it was just a product of her imagination. I repeated what Einstein said about imagination as being more important than intelligence… She gave me a reassured smile and proceeded to the next preoccupation.
I remember the early months that seemed to happen too slow, all before she turned one. Everyday was eventful but not as eloquent as the days near the present. She and my son Vedder talking to me about what’s on their mind is a gift that I hope they’ll never get tired of giving me. I encourage them to think out loud,to go bite more than they can chew, face limitations as a daily task that can be conquered. At least, that’s what I feel my environment taught me.
The Phenomenal Failure
When I was introduced to the school system, I thought I was introduced to these things:
- That life is a race (maybe)
- Everything I learned in between bell rings are most important in equipping yourself for life
- You will always be measured
- Deadlines are inescapable
- Endings are inevitable
I remember waking up everyday to AM radio, Paeng Yabut’s voice would fill up the chill air and intro the Rufina Patis (fish sauce) commercial. We lived near enough the railway to hear the first trip of the old train, 6 a.m. This means we should be, at least, halfway ready to go. We should be on our way as the next train whistles in (6:30 a.m.) since the school bell rings at a strict 6:45 a.m. Life is a race, as it is reinforced throughout. That’s part of the reason why the late comers cannot go and join their designated line during the 15 minute flag ceremony program. They had to be counted, listed, and hopefully humiliated not to do it again. It is a disagreeable method in instilling supposed discipline when all you want to do is just draw a line that expresses respect for time.
Iron Will
If I could cheat life and have more time then I’ll be fine. I’ve been wearing vest over a buttoned shirt for work and I realized then that if I ironed only the sleeves, I’d be saving minutes enough to play an extra song a day on my guitar. Ha! I pride myself with coming up with practical and creative solutions, I get occasional free meals off it.
Driving to work, I used to scamper for parallel streets and undiscovered road detours just to keep that sense of movement. It’s as if traffic build-up causes a rash reaction that needs to be avoided. I also used to pride myself of knowing multiple ways to get to work, my wife finds it unbelievable now when I submit to a line of cars running at 20kph and resist to look for other ways. Whatever happened to “practical and creative solutions”?
Did my will break?
24
The marketers stretched the value of Christmas day’s showdown of the Warriors and Cavs since the Warriors broke into the opening gates with a mean winning streak. The Warrior schedule looked promising since beating the Lakers for win #16. With a winning differential of some 14 points, Steph Curry scoring 40 at will, without playing in the fourth Q, the road to win #33 can’t seem to get fast enough. For some faux incentive, someone at marketing seem to have blurted out “Hey, Steph beating the LeBron can be for record game 33-0 if you add the dubs’ last 4 games of the 2014-2015 season!” and somebody concurred “Jason, you’re a genius! Hype up the gullible trolls of social media and let them feast on this meaningless debate”
danDAman 